Perspective and Purpose

One of the best ways to get out of a funk is to help someone else.   Part of the reasons this works, I suppose, is that when we see others in need, it reminds us that we aren't alone in our problems.   Serving others gives us perspective and purpose.

Serving and giving are great ways to show thankfulness and to demonstrate love.   The world's needs are great, so finding a place to plug in and help is pretty easy.   I have links to some of my favorite charities and ministries in my blog.   Find a place of your own and start giving of yourself -- your time, your talents, your treasure.

Happiness cannot come from without.  It must come from within.  It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.   Helen Keller

Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.

Oren Arnold

Count Your Blessings

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings.

Name that movie.

1954.   Vera-Ellen.   Rosemary Clooney.   Danny Kaye.   Bing Crosby.   The above song, written by Irving Berlin, was nominated for an Oscar.   Too easy?   It should be.   White Christmas.

I love that movie.   As far as I'm concerned, if there were a Canon of Christmas Movies, White Christmas would be among the greats – along with the Miracle on 34th Street (1947, Maureen O'Hara, John Payne, Edmund Gwinn and Natalie Wood), It's a Wonderful Life (1946, James Stewart, Donna Reed), Scrooge (1951, Alistair Sim), A Christmas Story (1983, Melinda Dillon, Darin McGavin, Peter Billingsley) and Christmas Vacation (1989, Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo).

I love Christmas Vacation.   It's everything our celebrations generally are.   Lights that tangle and don't light.   Relatives that bicker.  Children that complain.   Kitty-Os in the jello salad.   Crazed squirrels.   (Or is that just my house?)   Clark Griswold is my soulmate.   We both have expectations we can never hope to meet.

Ellen: You set standards that no family activity can live up to.
Clark: When have I ever done that?
Ellen: Parties, weddings, anniversaries, funerals, holidays, vacations, graduations....

Clark Griswold has watched White Christmas too many times.

White Christmas is 1950s Utopia in Vistavision.   Vera-Ellen looks more put together in her flannel pjs after sleeping on a train or after sweating from a strenuous dance routine than I did on my wedding day.   She and Rosemary Clooney wear the most gorgeous dresses throughout the film, and they never get wrinkled or spill hot chocolate on themselves.  

In White Christmas, even World War II looks clean.   Patriotism is the norm.   Democrats in Vermont are rare.   {Giggle}   Dashing Danny Kaye dances into Vera-Ellen's life.   (The best things happen while you're dancing….)   White knight Bing Crosby croons his way into Rosemary Clooney's heart.   Soldiers from all over the country fill the lodge to honor of General Waverly, the boys get the girls, and the long-awaited snow falls to the strains of, what else, White Christmas.   I love a good romance.

What does any of this have to do with being thankful even in difficult circumstances?   I believe that if you look hard enough, you can find wisdom anywhere – even Hollywood.

When you're worried, depressed, or troubled, count your blessings.   Think of all the good things in your life.  Or as Paul wrote,

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. – Philippians 4:8

When times are trying, remember when times were rough before – and how you came through them.   In the Old Testament, God's people are constantly instructed to remember, to repeat what God has done in their lives.   It's not that God needs our constant praise (although He deserves it) – it's that we need to remember who He is and what He has done in our lives and in the lives of others.   Remembering His faithfulness gives us courage to live.

Don't have unreasonable expectations.   Real life is more Family Vacation or A Christmas Story than White Christmas – which becomes very apparent when you dress up four children and try to keep them clean and looking at the camera for that family Christmas photo.   Strive for perfection in the areas that are meaningful – in love, in forgiveness, in humility, in faithfulness – and be flexible with all the other stuff.

Even when things aren't perfect, when circumstances aren't what we expect, when Cousin Eddie arrives unannounced, parks his RV in your front yard, and empties his chemical toilet in your sewer, you can still find joy.   When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.   Or to borrow from A Christmas Story, when the Bumpuses's hounds steal the Christmas turkey, find a Chinese restaurant and discover Peking Duck.   (Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra.)

Remember these things, and you'll find joy and thankfulness.

Oh, and one more thing – don't eat Aunt Bethany's jello.

Creative Holiday Shopping Guide

And now for something completely different ....

For weeks now, Wal-Mart has stocked its shelves with Christmas decorations -- which irritates me to no end.   The Christmas shopping season with all its trappings should not begin until the day after Thanksgiving.   I make no apologies for this sentiment, unabashed capitalist though I am.

But I'm also a notorious procrastinator.   So to get a step ahead this season, I'm going to compile and share with you, in no particular order, my Creative Holiday Shopping Guide.  With six people, two dogs, a cat, and a ball python living under one roof, our family really doesn't need a lot more clutter.   I generally prefer gifts that don't require feeding, dusting, or maintenance.   You can vary many of the ideas to suit your budget.

#1 -- Books.   A recent poll showed that one in four adults in the U.S. read no books last year.  Shameful!   There are so many wonderful writers out there, so many terrific books.  Reading fosters creativity and imagination, helps with concentration, and opens up new worlds of information.   Bookstores are full of wonderful books on all manner of subjects, including Large Print Editions for older readers.   For some ideas, click on my bookshelf or on the list of blogs, many of which are by writers.

#2 -- Books on Tape/CD.  I discovered these while driving to a writer's conference last month.   I picked one up at a Cracker Barrel in Florida, and Nora Roberts kept me company until I pulled into Atlanta.   I've discovered these also make housework a lot more fun. Cracker Barrel refunds most of your purchase price if you return the recording within a week, so maybe a gift certificate to Cracker Barrel would be a good idea.

#3 -- Games.   Games often have small pieces.   Like the dread LEGO or Barbie shoe, these can wreak havoc on your vacuum or your bare foot.   Even so, games can be a lot of fun. I'm not talking video games, but games that involve two or more individuals interacting around a table or in the living room.   Games like Nanofictionary.   My son Chris was introduced to this while on a mission trip a few years back.  LooneyLabs calls it the card game of telling tiny stories.  You are dealt a hand of cards, including Character, Setting, Problem and Resolution, as well as some other cards to make play more interesting.   You need to collect a certain number of these cards, and then tell your tiny story to the rest of the players.   Our favorite resolution, hands down, is "and that's how duct tape saved the day again."  Perfect for someone who loves writing or improv.  If you have a favorite game, share it in a comment.

#4 -- Tickets.   One of my favorite gifts last year (attached to four cans of SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM) was two tickets to Spamalot.   Tickets to sporting events, shows, movies, and festivals don't need a lot of wrapping or expensive shipping.   They pull us away from our computer screens (kicking and screaming) and involve us in the world around us.   They support local teams or the arts.  Maybe you can't afford tickets to a Broadway touring company production, but you could afford tickets to the local civic theater, college, or high school theater.  You'd be surprised how wonderful these productions can be.   Throw in dinner and a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine, and you'll really romance your sweetheart.   Or add a cooler full of sodas and beer and a picnic basket to those sporting events tickets, and you'll have a very happy honey.

#5 -- Charitable Gifts.   I have mixed feelings about giving something in honor of someone else.   It can really be a non-gift if the charity isn't something of great interest to the honoree.   But if someone on your list has a passionate interest in a cause, a gift in their name might be a wonderful surprise.   {See my last blog entry for how to donate a Long Lasting Insecticidal Net (LLIN) to help combat malaria.)   Just keep in mind that a gift should reflect the needs, wants, and interests of the recipient, not your own.

#6 -- Memberships.   How long has it been since you've visited your local museum, zoo, botanical gardens, or science center?   Many of these have affordable annual memberships for individuals and families.  Just make sure that the membership is something that would interest the recipient.

#7 -- Subscriptions.   There are wonderful magazines out there for every interest -- cooking, travel, home improvement, business, sports, pets, history, electronics, entertainment, gardening -- you name it.   Sometimes it's nice to package a gift subscription card with an appropriate token -- a spatula with Cook's Illustrated or a USB flash drive with PC Magazine.

#8 -- Ornaments.   One year, we sent glass flamingos wearing santa hats to all the relatives in Connecticut.   We've received some lovely personal ornaments throughout the years.   Ornaments are great, because they remind you of the giver year after year. 

#9 -- Lessons.   I've always wished I could {knit, sew, sail, salsa dance, decorate cakes, grow orchids, ski, make stained glass, play piano, arrange flowers, do woodworking, ______________}. If you've ever heard your loved one utter those words, you have a gift idea.   Lessons broaden horizons and stretch abilities.   Lessons they enjoy show you not only know their dreams, but you also support them.   Priceless.   Lessons can be expensive, but you can often find reasonably-priced instruction at your local craft or fabric stores, home improvement stores, vo-tech schools, or community colleges.

#10 -- Food and Wine.   Everyone eats, making food an obvious choice.   Of course, with dietary restrictions, you have to be careful when choosing food or beverage gifts.   I'm a foodie, and I know from bitter experience that many of those pretty holiday gift packages look lovely but taste nasty.   If you are a decent baker, homemade gifts can be a real treat.   I bake a mean Christmas cookie -- better than anything you can get prepackaged and better than most you would buy in a bakery.   That's because I use fresh, high-quality ingredients and add a lot of love.   Baking isn't necessarily inexpensive, but it is usually appreciated.

If baking isn't your style, there are many books for making homemade mixes.   Packaged in canning jars with pretty labels and a cap of holiday fabric, these can be a wonderful gift.   One year, we gave pretty jars filled with a special pancake mix we put together -- perfect for breakfast on Christmas or New Years -- to all the teachers on our list.  Don't forget to include the recipe.  Here's a recipe for Baking Mixes.  If you don't want to make your own mix, King Arthur makes wonderful mixes like these for scones.   I've never had a bad mix from King Arthur.

Certain ingredients can be expensive which might keep them off of the every day shopping list.   Perhaps the chef in your life would enjoy spices from Penzeys.   If your region of the country has a food specialty, it might make a treasured gift for your friends and relatives far away.

Wine can be a lovely gift, but not everyone likes wine, or even the same kinds of wine.   When it comes to wines, I like it sweet and wet.   Give me a Riesling or Liebfraumilch Auslese or Spätlese, Eiswein, a late-harvest red or sparkling wine, or a bottle of Cockburn Port, and I'm a happy camper.   My friend Shannon likes her wine dry.  She would prefer a dry Cabernet to any of those I like.   You don't have to be an expert to give a nice bottle of wine.   Many stores have ratings from organizations like Wine Spectator displayed on the shelves.   If you know your friend's tastes, you can choose a fine wine within your budget.

One final word of warning:   if you're giving a gift of food, please let the recipient and anyone helping with its transportation know it's perishable when you give it.   Once, we sent a nicely-wrapped summer sausage to my father-in-law.   Unfortunately, the person carrying the gift to Miami didn't get it to him right away.   Summer sausage is pretty hardy stuff, but Miami winters are warm.  Perhaps it was left in the trunk of the car....   All I know is that my father-in-law received a rotten sausage for Christmas that year.   He still speaks to me, forgiving soul that he is.  Sorry, Ed.

Please share your favorite gift ideas in a comment.   I would like to finish my holiday shopping early, so I can spend Advent and Christmas concentrating on the reason for the season.